Twenty Signs You Might Be Addicted to Horses
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Photo by Eclipse Sportswire
Some people eat, drink and sleep football, others become fanatical about TV shows or obsess about cars, but for those of us whose passion is horses, the fanaticism borders on addiction.
1) You own more boots than formal shoes … by a wide margin.
2) You have no problem throwing out other childhood mementos, but you will never get rid of your model horses.
3) You spend more money on clothes for the races or riding than you ever would for work or school.
4) You cannot pass a barn, field or stable without straining your neck to try to see a resident horse.
5) Some people’s idea of a fun Saturday includes a pub-crawl; your idea of a great day includes a marathon of top racing action from across the country.
6) It’s physically impossible for you to be quiet during any movie with scenes of horses in it since you have to critique every detail that’s wrong. Examples may include: “Gah! She’s leading the horse from the right!” “That guy’s on the wrong diagonal!” and “FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY, PUT YOUR HEELS DOWN!”
7) You have your “nice jeans” and your “barn jeans” and it is *very* easy to tell the difference between the two.
8) When someone says the word “treat,” you think of carrots and peppermints, not new clothes and chocolate.
9) Being covered in mud, horse slobber and dirt is not just normal: it’s desirable.
10) Your car barely has room for the driver; all other surface area is covered in pieces of tack, grooming gear, blankets, empty bags of carrots and very possibly a nest of squirrels. Who even knows anymore?
11) You consider waking up at 7 a.m. to be a luxury, since your alarm generally blasts off at 4:30 a.m. so you can feed the horses.
12) It is entirely possible that your body has learned to function on just caffeine and adrenaline on days when it seems like there are 4,000 races to watch.
13) You have your “horse friends” and your “other friends.” Your other friends cannot understand a word you’re saying if they get around you and your horse friends since 90% of conversations end up being jargon. “She was acting a little green until we changed her tack and lunged her in the bull pen. Then, she was fine.”
14) Your bucket list includes pilgrimages to Churchill Downs, Rolex Kentucky and/or Quarter-Horse Congress.
15) When you try to tell people to stop, “Whoa back” is the first thing that comes out of your mouth.
16) Some people’s cars have “Baby on Board” or political bumper stickers. Your car has one that reads, “My Other Ride is a Thoroughbred.”
17) You have described a brunette as a “bay” or a redhead as a “chestnut” without realizing what you were doing.
18) You can fix pretty much anything with baling twine, WD-40 and duct tape.
19) Injuries other people would go to the hospital for are mere annoyances to you. “Oh, sure, I got kicked; but I’m almost positive I didn’t break anything, and anyway I was only halfway through pulling that horse’s mane so I couldn’t leave!”
20) You have debated certain horses’ merits with the fiery passion of a fully- indoctrinated cult member. And still stand by everything you said. In fact, you have something to add if anyone wants to talk about it …