Why You Should Never Invite Me to Your Kentucky Derby Party
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“Hey, does anybody know where the remote to this TV is? I want to change the channel so we can see the undercard races. Well, can I at least turn up the volume? I don’t understand why not, nobody else is even watching it!
“Why is everyone wearing seersucker if we’re not even going outside? Same goes for those hats.
“No, American Pharoah isn’t running this year.